1. Lists. Yes, I’ve been guilty of it before and I’ll probably be guilty of it again if someone pays me to do it. Hell, I’m guilty of it right now.
2. The ‘keep calm’ crap that I see every freaking day on facebook.
I will not keep calm. Next time I see one more goddamned keep calm poster I’m going to cram my head in the freezer, and I will be tense about it, not calm. And what’s with the crown??
3. Jumbled up word things that are supposed to be meaningful.
Also known as ‘manifestos’. I created this one (thank you to my partner for pointing out the misspelling of ‘feral’) and got too bored to fill it with any more words. Can I just say, please stop clogging up pinterest and facebook with this shit? I know you think you are inspiring people, but the truth of the matter is, regardless of how meaningful the words are, I will forget them in two seconds, because all they are is a bunch of scrambled up words. Again, I’m a hypocrite as shown in this post, but this wasn’t meant to be inspirational, it was just a lazy form of ‘filler’ in leau of a picture describing my spiritual leanings. But, if it annoyed you, or if my hypocrisy annoys you, I apologise.
People, overuse of this stuff is just lazy. At least put the scrambled up words into a sentence once in a while or something? When I’m confronted with a pinterest board with just a checkerboard filled with scrambled up words, it feels as though I’ve vomitted up alphabet soup on my laptop screen and it’s just not a nice look.
4. Those dirty people who spam me on twitter.
Just stop it already. I don’t want to see girl on girl action or how wet you are. I don’t even know what the hell I’m doing on twitter half the time, I don’t need to be distracted with a picture of you chock-a-block with god knows what rammed up you.
5. Facebook ads.
Does anybody actually click on these for real? I don’t care how amazing your candles are, I don’t want ‘freebies for mums’ and I am not clicking on an ad for a vet that is nowhere near where I live.
6. These things.
7. I’m also sick of seeing hundreds of these on facebook everyday:
Look, I know I often hit ‘like’ on these things, but that’s beside the point. I only read them initially because I’m suspicious that you’re trying to sell me a bible.
8. Captcha codes that I can’t read. I try, captcha, I do. I squint and furrow, and just when I think I’ve meticulously typed in your pathetic little code you throw it back in my face. This is how internet rage is started. Make it achievable, or bugger it off.
If you have posted any of these things on facebook yourself, please do not take offense. Most of them are funny, entertaining or uplifting the first five hundred times. I’ve probably even indulged in every single one at some stage or another. But seriously? Am I only one who’s getting sick of how homogenus the internet is these days? Do you ever get sick of just seeing the same stuff all the time? I’m sick to death of feeling as though I’m being served porridge for breakfast, lunch and dinner for 30 days straight. I mean, I quite like porridge, but sometimes I need more flavour than that. What about you?
PS: yes, my PMS is coming along nicely.
Print
I can picture myself writing something similar some days, too funny.
The crown in the keep calm posters is from the original keep calm and carry on ssued by the British government in WW2, part of a series of posters meant to keep public morale high I believe ….. not that you REALLY wanted to know that
It’s something that sneaks up on you, I think. We click ‘like’ and have a laugh, oblivious to the fact we’re being served the same thing, day in and day out.
Thank you for the explanation of the crown on the posters! I did want to know! I was always hopeless with history, as a kid and teen I had no interest, and now I have all these historical gaps in my mind. Luckily, I’m interested now, so I’ll just have to learn later in life.
Sharon recently posted..8 Things That Currently Cheese Me Off About the Internet
Good on you. Ditto to the feckin lot.
About your insurance shit .. tell them that you are going to get on to Consumer Affairs or whatever they call themselves these days. Also, A Current Affair etc. Not good enough. AND name them on your blog to warn others off them…
You go girl and really get into your PMS with the humungous full moon coming up. LOL xo
Lydia La La recently posted..The birds are singing. It’s a beautiful day.
Thanks, Lydia:) I’m being careful not to name the insurance company just yet, in case I shouldn’t for legal reasons. We’ve been advised not to take legal action yet but to complete the process first, then strike if needed!
Sharon recently posted..8 Things That Currently Cheese Me Off About the Internet
I’m glad I’m not the only person to be sick of the “keep calm” posters. I can feel myself getting stressed just at the mere thought. Oh and captchas. But I think I’ll go and make a list and write profound yet meaningless quotations on a scenic background. I feel all enlightened now.
OMG Jo, I’m the same! The annoyance of those bloody keep calm posters make me want to headbutt my computer desk.
Yes, write something profound. But make sure it has at least one spelling error as mine did;)
Sharon recently posted..8 Things That Currently Cheese Me Off About the Internet
I was gonna do the crown thing!
My mind doesn’t work the right way to be amused by a lot of those things. I have been known to put up occasional quotes, like
“Quotes are pretty. But are you seriously going to run your life by soundbites from the past?” Deb Hodgkin
Deb recently posted..Palmar, Power, Precision, and Prints – Hands and fingers for all ages
That is a damn fine quote Deb! I never thought of it that way, but you make a great point. Also, I love it when people quote themselves, people don’t do that nearly often enough.
Sharon recently posted..8 Things That Currently Cheese Me Off About the Internet
Hilarious! Twitter spamming comments made me spit my pepsi out!
LOL! I hope your screen is ok, Ms Midge!
Sharon recently posted..8 Things That Currently Cheese Me Off About the Internet
I hate captcha codes that I can’t read too. Why should I have to prove I am not a robot when I am forming coherent sentences?
Dang it Carmel, I can only hit that ‘like’ button once!! I so agree with you.
Sharon recently posted..8 Things That Currently Cheese Me Off About the Internet
I can relate!
Those silly “Keep Calm” thingies have bothered me ever since they started to spam my Pinterest feed! I felt like it was all some big “in” joke that I was unaware of and completely not amused by. Do some people find them funny?? :O
And captcha is like a roll of the dice for me, I too am forever squinting, and even asking hubby, “does that look like an i or part of a u?” When I see them I usually head straight for the little x on my tab!
Loved this post
Clare recently posted..What Shall We Do?
I know what you mean, Clare. I can think of one ‘keep calm’ thing once that I laughed at and liked, only because the joke would’ve been funny no matter which way it was presented. But as a whole, I don’t usually find them very funny at all.
Maybe I should ask my man for help with captcha. The amount of times I’ve entered it and thought, ‘there’s no way that could be anything else other than what I’ve typed’ and still been wrong is mind boggling.
Sharon recently posted..8 Things That Currently Cheese Me Off About the Internet
You had me at keep calm.
Love your writing style. I’ll be back!
Welcome aboard, Debra!
Sharon recently posted..8 Things That Currently Cheese Me Off About the Internet
I think you might live in my head!
Haha, don’t you love it when others have been thinking the same thing?
Sharon recently posted..8 Things That Currently Cheese Me Off About the Internet
Okay, so I’m guilty of the quotes thing. I absolutely love them and you never know who might see em. It’s all about making people smile. I do agree with you on the twitter spamming thing though, it gets annoying blocking people everyday
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Chrissie recently posted..Focus
Chrissie, I think we’re all guilty of most of them, hopefully though, with the exception of the twiter one LOL
Sharon recently posted..Cooking and Crafting
Oh Sharon! Yes, yes and YES! I am so with you about the Keep Calm thing! And the manifesto thing! And the inspirational words thing (though am I hypocrite – I do love *some* quotes and have *some* on my tea room page on my blog) – but gosh, my sentiments exactly about it being lazy. In fact, a few months ago I banned myself from putting quote thingies in my blog content. It was starting to cheese me off so much on other blogs that I couldn’t bare to do it on my own. It’s not very creative, is it? Love your list so much! xx
Deb @ Bright and Precious recently posted..Tutu Days
LOL Deb, like I said, I’m probably the biggest hypocrite with this list anyway! It felt good getting this out though, otherwise life just feels like day after day of the same old thing
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