1. Lists. Yes, I’ve been guilty of it before and I’ll probably be guilty of it again if someone pays me to do it. Hell, I’m guilty of it right now.
2. The ‘keep calm’ crap that I see every freaking day on facebook.
I will not keep calm. Next time I see one more goddamned keep calm poster I’m going to cram my head in the freezer, and I will be tense about it, not calm. And what’s with the crown??
3. Jumbled up word things that are supposed to be meaningful.
Also known as ‘manifestos’. I created this one (thank you to my partner for pointing out the misspelling of ‘feral’) and got too bored to fill it with any more words. Can I just say, please stop clogging up pinterest and facebook with this shit? I know you think you are inspiring people, but the truth of the matter is, regardless of how meaningful the words are, I will forget them in two seconds, because all they are is a bunch of scrambled up words. Again, I’m a hypocrite as shown in this post, but this wasn’t meant to be inspirational, it was just a lazy form of ‘filler’ in leau of a picture describing my spiritual leanings. But, if it annoyed you, or if my hypocrisy annoys you, I apologise.
People, overuse of this stuff is just lazy. At least put the scrambled up words into a sentence once in a while or something? When I’m confronted with a pinterest board with just a checkerboard filled with scrambled up words, it feels as though I’ve vomitted up alphabet soup on my laptop screen and it’s just not a nice look.
4. Those dirty people who spam me on twitter.
Just stop it already. I don’t want to see girl on girl action or how wet you are. I don’t even know what the hell I’m doing on twitter half the time, I don’t need to be distracted with a picture of you chock-a-block with god knows what rammed up you.
5. Facebook ads.
Does anybody actually click on these for real? I don’t care how amazing your candles are, I don’t want ‘freebies for mums’ and I am not clicking on an ad for a vet that is nowhere near where I live.
6. These things.
7. I’m also sick of seeing hundreds of these on facebook everyday:
Look, I know I often hit ‘like’ on these things, but that’s beside the point. I only read them initially because I’m suspicious that you’re trying to sell me a bible.
8. Captcha codes that I can’t read. I try, captcha, I do. I squint and furrow, and just when I think I’ve meticulously typed in your pathetic little code you throw it back in my face. This is how internet rage is started. Make it achievable, or bugger it off.
If you have posted any of these things on facebook yourself, please do not take offense. Most of them are funny, entertaining or uplifting the first five hundred times. I’ve probably even indulged in every single one at some stage or another. But seriously? Am I only one who’s getting sick of how homogenus the internet is these days? Do you ever get sick of just seeing the same stuff all the time? I’m sick to death of feeling as though I’m being served porridge for breakfast, lunch and dinner for 30 days straight. I mean, I quite like porridge, but sometimes I need more flavour than that. What about you?
PS: yes, my PMS is coming along nicely.