Image courtesy of the Whiny Pencil
In the time I spend on the internet, reading about the lives of others, it is always apparent to me that jealousy is everywhere, and it can be felt over anything. There are people who are much more beautiful than us in pictures. There are people with more money than us. There are people experiencing things we’re not, getting different opportunities to us. There are people who have something we don’t, or more than we do. There are people who appear to be doing things more successfully than we are. People who seem to find certain things easier than we do.
I find it fascinating to watch the jealousy of others unfold online or in real life. There are different types of jealous people. Some people like to insinuate that the object of their jealousy is somehow faking their stroke of luck. There will be cries of ‘photoshop!’ or, ‘I’ll bet that’s not really what her life is like!’ I see people accusing others of being smug, obnoxious, even ‘up themselves’.
Then, there’s the excuse maker. ‘Yeah, and who did she have to screw to get that opportunity?’ or, ‘yeah, I’ll bet I could do all that if I had her money/her hired help, etc’. My favourite is the martyr: ‘yes, well, she’s lucky, she has rich parents, but unfortunately the rest of us have to work in life’.Yep, everyone else has got it so much easier.
Then, there are my least favourite types of jealous people. The ones who get so bitter about what another person has that they’ll dedicate ridiculous amounts of time to making that person’s life a living hell. Think Mean Girls, complete with put-downs, nasty remarks and spiteful attacks. The saddest jealous types like to whine. They go through life hating themselves because of how much better they think others have it than them.
I think if we let jealousy make us bitter then no one wins. Not us, and certainly not the object of our jealousy. I also believe that sometimes jealousy makes us realise something we want. Something we didn’t know we wanted until we saw someone else enjoying it.
The truth is though, we never know how easy or hard the other person has it, or has had it in the past, and honestly? It doesn’t matter. That person might’ve flogged their arses off for the money they have or the opportunities they’ve been given. They also just might’ve had it handed to them on a silver platter. I personally don’t think it’s up to any of us to be judge and jury of who deserves what. I believe everyone deserves whatever success, good fortune and happiness that comes their way. Ok, maybe not the hardened criminals of this world, but generally speaking, I think everyone deserves a good life.
I think the world would be a much better place if people stopped blaming others for the things they don’t have and just went for what they wanted. I believe life isn’t fair, and sometimes you just have to suck it up and live with not being taller, or those physical things we can’t change.
I would love to see more people give their jealousy away as gifts to be used as compliments, instead of hanging onto them out of bitterness. If you envy someone else’s hair, why can’t you tell them? You get the chance to make someone else feel good, and their reaction will make you feel good. Our jealousy can also be a gift to ourselves. If you didn’t know you wanted it, but now you do, what’s stopping you from going for it? Jealousy can be a positive motivation if we just let it be, and honestly? If we don’t want something badly enough to work for it, why on earth are we jealous of the other person in the first place?