Image courtesy of the Whiny Pencil
In the time I spend on the internet, reading about the lives of others, it is always apparent to me that jealousy is everywhere, and it can be felt over anything. There are people who are much more beautiful than us in pictures. There are people with more money than us. There are people experiencing things we’re not, getting different opportunities to us. There are people who have something we don’t, or more than we do. There are people who appear to be doing things more successfully than we are. People who seem to find certain things easier than we do.
I find it fascinating to watch the jealousy of others unfold online or in real life. There are different types of jealous people. Some people like to insinuate that the object of their jealousy is somehow faking their stroke of luck. There will be cries of ‘photoshop!’ or, ‘I’ll bet that’s not really what her life is like!’ I see people accusing others of being smug, obnoxious, even ‘up themselves’.
Then, there’s the excuse maker. ‘Yeah, and who did she have to screw to get that opportunity?’ or, ‘yeah, I’ll bet I could do all that if I had her money/her hired help, etc’. My favourite is the martyr: ‘yes, well, she’s lucky, she has rich parents, but unfortunately the rest of us have to work in life’.Yep, everyone else has got it so much easier.
Then, there are my least favourite types of jealous people. The ones who get so bitter about what another person has that they’ll dedicate ridiculous amounts of time to making that person’s life a living hell. Think Mean Girls, complete with put-downs, nasty remarks and spiteful attacks. The saddest jealous types like to whine. They go through life hating themselves because of how much better they think others have it than them.
I think if we let jealousy make us bitter then no one wins. Not us, and certainly not the object of our jealousy. I also believe that sometimes jealousy makes us realise something we want. Something we didn’t know we wanted until we saw someone else enjoying it.
The truth is though, we never know how easy or hard the other person has it, or has had it in the past, and honestly? It doesn’t matter. That person might’ve flogged their arses off for the money they have or the opportunities they’ve been given. They also just might’ve had it handed to them on a silver platter. I personally don’t think it’s up to any of us to be judge and jury of who deserves what. I believe everyone deserves whatever success, good fortune and happiness that comes their way. Ok, maybe not the hardened criminals of this world, but generally speaking, I think everyone deserves a good life.
I think the world would be a much better place if people stopped blaming others for the things they don’t have and just went for what they wanted. I believe life isn’t fair, and sometimes you just have to suck it up and live with not being taller, or those physical things we can’t change.
I would love to see more people give their jealousy away as gifts to be used as compliments, instead of hanging onto them out of bitterness. If you envy someone else’s hair, why can’t you tell them? You get the chance to make someone else feel good, and their reaction will make you feel good. Our jealousy can also be a gift to ourselves. If you didn’t know you wanted it, but now you do, what’s stopping you from going for it? Jealousy can be a positive motivation if we just let it be, and honestly? If we don’t want something badly enough to work for it, why on earth are we jealous of the other person in the first place?
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So very true. I’ve never understood why people can’t just say ‘I’m so jealous, I’d love a holiday like that. Enjoy every second’ rather than bitch about how they never get a holiday themselves. Focus that energy into getting what it is you want rather than feeling sorry for yourself.
I totally agree, Kelli! No one gets anything from self pity, I reckon
Sharon recently posted..Are You Jealous?
an interesting way of thinking about it, I’ll admit to being one of those jealous types, but wouldn’t openly attack someone becaus they have or are doing more than I am
Belinda recently posted..School!
I think jealousy is something that comes naturally to all of us:)
Sharon recently posted..Are You Jealous?
Very good points, Sharon! Especially that last paragraph. It’s more a reflection on how disappointed we are in ourselves, isn’t it?
Deb @ Bright and Precious recently posted..Going Anyway
I agree Deb, I think a lot of the problem is that we’re measuring our self worth against someone else, and it’s such a horrible place to be.
Sharon recently posted..Are You Jealous?
You know Sharon, I can’t remember a time as an adult that I have ever felt jealous. My husband and I “dropped out” of mainstream society twenty five years ago when we decided to live an alternate lifestyle. We swam strongly against the tide of public opinion back then and it seems that I am still doing it now. I still don’t have any floor coverings on my kitchen floor (it is a bare concrete slab) not because I can’t find the right shade of Italian slate but because I just don’t think about the floor.
To be jealous you have to want something that another person has and I honestly can not for the life of me think of something anyone has that I really want.
I turn Mud into Art and my living is also my passion. Being a potter and playing in the mud all day has a pretty grounding effect on a person and there is nothing more basic or life affirming than watching three months worth of work be destroyed by one bad firing.
It is the same with the garden, I used to work very hard in the garden when the kids were small as often it was only the produce in the garden that kept the wolves from the door. I well remember the absolute devastation of an unexpected early frost which totally destroyed all my tomatoes. All my gorgeous tomatoes that were going to be dried and sauced and chutneyed. All my tomatoes that were going to last me the year, totally destroyed in one night.
Those sorts of setbacks are the real measure of a persons life, I could have railed against the weather gods and been bitter and jealous that my friend down the road didn’t lose one single tomato Or I could have thanked my lucky stars that I still had other veggies left in the garden and that with some creative thinking I could swap buckets of plums for half cases of tomatoes.
Life is too short to waste on negative energy such as jealousy.
Kim @frogpondsrock recently posted..Dead Tulips
I reckon you’ve nailed it totally, Kim! To be totally happy with your own blessings is such a beautiful and rare thing! And it’s so amazing that you can own all your choices, desires and actions. I think a lot of us just need to learn to be more grateful with what we do have, definitely!
Sharon recently posted..Are You Jealous?
It is human nature to always feel that the grass is greener on the other side, but I think your last sentence put a sharp and true conclusion on this subject. I enjoyed reading it! Thanks for posting my illustration!
I think it’s fairly natural too, Doublexuan. And thank you so much for creating this fantastic illustration for me!
Sharon recently posted..Are You Jealous?
OMG! Love this post
I will send it to my extranged sister cos gee she needs to read it.{could be a wake up call } She has always been jealous of me why? God knows . Everything i had she had . This went on untill 3 yrs ago when i severed all ties with her and the rest of my jealous family *sigh*
Sounds like a tough situation, Dannie:) Glad you enjoyed it
Sharon recently posted..Are You Jealous?
I have to admit that I used to be a very jealous person. It took me a very long time to get over being jealous of others and I have to say that it wasn’t easy at all. I find that since getting over my jealousy issues that I’ve become a lot happier and I think that a lot of people would benefit from not being so jealous of other people. This is a great post, a lot of wonderful information.
Felicia recently posted..Gone but Not Forgotten
Thanks Felicia! I definitely think that less jealousy = more happiness
Sharon recently posted..Adult