I‘ve been sitting on this blog post idea for a while. I have so much to say about GOMI, which stands for Get Off My Internets. For a while there, I decided not to, because I didn’t want to appear to be posting ‘linkbait’ or trying to suck up to the community in some way.
But today, I’m going to post about it for two reasons: one, because some gut wrenching shit went down over there yesterday, that rocked me. Two, because my facebook followers, when faced with the choice of the following blog posts, they responded a little something like this:
- Getting healthy/fit? Crickets. Silence is also feedback, so no health and fitness post today.
- How I have wasted money. A little interest there… Well, who doesn’t love a good train wreck, I always say.
- GOMI. Although the votes were tied between money and GOMI, people had more to say about GOMI, so we’re talking about GOMI today.
Now, I have a lot to say, so if you don’t know what GOMI is, just go have a look before reading this. It’ll save a lot of time, and I’ll still be here to talk to you when you come back. I’ll start by letting you know that I support GOMI in what the site does. Because I believe in their cause, and because they had an admirable victory yesterday, I choose to celebrate and honour their acheivements in the form of gifs. Remember gifs? Reading GOMI has reignited my love of the gif, and anyone who encourages insane gif usage is alright in my book.
You see, a lot of blogs and bloggers suck at the moment. In the old days, it used to just be the unknown bloggers that didn’t know what they were doing that sucked. The trouble is, the suck doesn’t discriminate anymore. You’ve got big bloggers sucking, medium bloggers sucking and small blogs sucking. Here a suck, there a suck, everywhere a suck-suck. Of course, not all blogs suck, but how does one find them? Why do so many blogs suck now more than ever before? Because bloggers have lost the plot. Blame it on the money, the free products, the over-zealous moderation of many blogs (read: inability to respond like a normal person to constructive criticism) but most of all, blame it on the bubble.
The bubble?
The fucking bubble. The one a blogger surrounds themself in. The one where they become praise junkies, and anything less is perceived as trolling. If you surround yourself only with people who tell you what a magnificent human being you are, and filter out any form of dissent, you come to believe you are more than you are. That you do not deserve to be spoken against, and that the other person must have a very big problem if they can’t see your brilliance. This is where, ‘but I work very hard!‘ and ‘you do not get a say’ comes into it all.
So many of us bloggers blog because we have a voice and we want to be able to use it. So many bloggers do that by silencing anyone else who disagrees with them. That’s why we have people too afraid to comment anymore. It pisses me off that there is someone out there right now, and I have no clue who they are, who wants to say something about my blog, but because they disagree with me, they feel they can’t or don’t have the right to. To all the egomaniac bloggers out there, you did this to me.
I pointed out rudeness in one commentor here, once. I still was happy for them to stick around to talk, but they backed off instantly, saying, ‘I’d better just go now, I won’t come back’. It felt like shit. See? I felt bad for speaking my mind on my blog, and as though I’d bullied this person away. The reality was, that I was happy for them to talk about their love of Jesus, but just not to invite me to take one more shot at it. No one feels like they can say anything anymore. It’s not right. The reader walked away viewing it as a, ‘this is MY blog, and you will not say positive things about Jesus here!’ The reality was, I wasn’t responding as the owner of the blog and what I say goes, I was responding as a person who had stated that their search of Christianity was well and truly over. That, as a human being, I found it rude for them to then say, ‘if you want to know more about God, follow these steps’. I wanted to address it because it’s something I feel strongly about with Christians in general. But, no. Because I own this blog, when I spoke out about something I felt strongly about, I drove a reader away and the conversation ended.
To any blogger who has deleted or cried ‘troll!’ to a reader who has expressed a differing opinion: you did this. And fuck you. And the horse you rode in on.
Because now there is this shitty, fearful vibe going on in the blogosphere, and no one, including me, feels they can comment the way they’d like to. All because you can’t handle someone telling you that yes, in fact, just like every other person on this planet, your shit does have a noticeably unfortunate odour about it.
You are not a celebrity. You do not get to demand that all the red M and M’s get picked out for you backstage. Get over yourselves. Anyone with two brain cells to rub together can start up and write a blog. You are not immune to honesty, any more than the rest of the world. You might think clicking the ‘delete’ button will make you feel better, but that doesn’t stop anyone having an opinion of you and your blog. Now that there is GOMI, everyone gets a voice.
Yesterday, when the site was at risk of closing down, I saw a community rally in a more inspiring way than ever before. GOMI members are for the most part, an interesting, entertaining, funny and thoughtful bunch. Yes, you have some outright scumbags over there. But what internet community doesn’t? In fact, my idea of the worst scum over there would be the Aussie blogger (or bloggers? Not sure) spilling ‘dirt’ over there without anyone having a clue which blogger they are. I’ve tried to find out who they are, to no avail. Partly because of curiousity, but mostly because I hope I’m not friends with them.
If you are one of those people and my friend, please stop being my friend. I like to hope none of my blog friends are doing this. Because although I respect your right to speak your mind over there, I don’t trust you. Don’t you have the right to have your blog and personality picked apart too? This is where it gets fishy for me. I know GOMI doesn’t support bloggers joining the community for the purpose of spruiking their blog, and rightly so. But when a blogger is anonymously joining the snark against bloggers who have given them a lot of support (if the rumours are true), then there’s something shitty about that.
I’ve often wanted to join the community, not so much to snark, but to talk about blogging and enjoy the internet’s best gif collection ever. But am I a traitor if I do? From what I can gather, it’s only acceptable to use your blog’s name as your username if you’ve been mentioned. So, if I were to join as a general member, I’d probably use a photo that other bloggers would recognise, but use a name that isn’t spamming my blog. But I still haven’t joined, because I’m still conflicted about it.
I will admit that I’ve found the feedback on GOMI (about other bloggers and blogs in general) to be very enlightening. These are readers who care a lot about blogs. I think most members love blogs. I have made the odd tweak or two to my blog based on the honesty I’ve read there. They have an unrivalled openess about blogging. This isn’t the ‘working with brands’ blogging advice, this is the stuff I want to read: what makes interesting reading, what do readers enjoy and hate?
It’s not all snark on there, either. Many talk about their SOMI’s. The bloggers they adore. I’ve been pleased to see that if a member takes their snark too far, the other members often will be vocal that a line has been crossed as well. Some might disagree with me, but let’s face it, everyone’s line in the sand is at a different point.
GOMI is the place where readers go when they feel not good enough, thanks to bloggers who portray an impossibly perfect life.
I believe when feedback is being given, be it about ourselves or someone else, no matter how nicely or nastily it’s delivered, we should always wonder, ‘do they have a point?’ before jumping in on the defense. When I reflect, the answer may be yes or it may be no. Is this why bloggers hate GOMI? Because they’re being forced to self-reflect? Made to think? Shouldn’t we care if our readers are over it? Over us?
If they’re calling us douches, then is it a chance for some self improvement, or something we can’t or won’t budge on? Neither answer is right or wrong, but as a whole, I do think we as bloggers could stand to toughen up somewhat. A lot.
What are your thoughts on GOMI? Should they GOMI or SOMI?
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Sharon, I love your mind! Thank you for putting this together because I had no idea what it was all about. Perhaps I live in that bubble… nah, a different bubble actually! (the one where I’m too busy with my own problems to give a damn about my ego on the blogosphere). I agree, Aussie blogs are not great quality on the whole at the moment. I struggle to find a truly unique and intelligent voice these days (thank goodness for you). And I’m intrigued that this groundswell of readers have formed their own voice.
One of my aims last year was to raise the bar of blogging. Gosh, we all have different things to bring, but bring quality damnit! Not sure what the answer is. But you’ve got me thinking about it all again.
I think most of us end up with a bubble, whether it’s self-infliced or blogosphere inflicted, haha!
There are a handful of good blogs out there, but I agree, as a whole, it’s a bit of a snooze-fest.
I think we should always be raising the bar in what we do as bloggers. A big part of that is in being able to listen to the feedback.
Sharon recently posted..Another Blogger, Writing About GOMI
PS And the celebrity that comes with blogging? Don’t get me started on that one. I hate celebrity at the best of times. But seeing the egos fly of some uber bloggers at a blogging conference last year made me feel somewhat queasy. I have no desire to join that race. In fact, I feel like I’m running my own personal race going in a different direction to this beast. Truly bizarre.
Deb @ Bright and Precious recently posted..The Life of Pi
Your blog is a breath of fresh air at the moment, Deb, and the fact that you’re not chasing some unhealthy ideal shines through.
Sharon recently posted..Another Blogger, Writing About GOMI
I always felt that blogging was about writing what YOU wanted and not catering to the whims of any potential followers. The internet is anarchy in action. If someone cannot stand the heat, they should get out of the kitchen. I know, I did lol.
I agree with you Catherine, but also, I think it’s good to know what readers feel if we want to be read, lol!
Totally agree about anarchy in action. There’s been some crazy shit over the years on the net, now everything’s so blah.
Sharon recently posted..Another Blogger, Writing About GOMI
This was such a well thought out and written piece and has really given me some food for thought – especialy after the past few weeks seeing things explode everywhere.
Personally, I havent gone on the GOMI site too much. Maybe I am scared I will see myself there. Mostly I don’t have time and what time I do have on the internets is wasted searching internet shopping sites! I would hate to think that any of my friends were there in disguise, but honestly I like what you have raised about the thought they are there because our blogs have blocked feedback that can be constructive but we take as ‘trolling’ or over critical.
I know in some cases there has been that sort of behaviour, but in some, like you mentioned that certainly isn’t the case. Like I said, I haven’t been there to see exactly what is going on over in the forums for myself, so I can’t really make an informed comment or opinion.
At the end of the day, we can choose not to read the site, we can choose to click away, and we can choose to acknowledge that we won’t always be liked by everyone. After all, isn’t that what we say to people who don’t like our blogs?
Lyndal recently posted..the one where i talk about how i feel (or not)
Oh Lyndal, despite what I’ve said above, GOMI can be a terrifying place, in an adrenaline filled, now-you-know-you’re-alive kind of way.
It makes so many bloggers nervous, myself included, but god, it’s good to feel something on the net again.
Yep, agree with you on the ‘if you don’t like it don’t read it’ attitude. Bloggers say that all the time. Then wish for more readers. haha
Sharon recently posted..Another Blogger, Writing About GOMI
I’m all for constructive criticism. It’s taken the second year of blogging for me to work out what blogs foster that sort of commentary. They are out there.
This “echo chamber” of blogging when people often get flamed as trolls when they dissent is definitely there but then many people blog to connect with like-minded types so maybe they just don’t want conflict? I read an article on US bloggers that went into why people have gone so vanilla and much of that has to do with partnering up with brands and traditional media. They talked about bloggers that emulate that success and how we’re stuck with so much “sameness” (which is usually white and middle class) but maybe it just means unearthing diversity takes a bit more work? I really hope that’s the case.
I read the Aus. blogger thread on GOMI. I think some of what they’ve said is worth thinking about but it does tend to get lost beneath the flat out hatred plus I’m suspicious of people with one or two previous comments spruiking particular blogs. Bloggers can be ruthless with self promotion and the depths of that is unfortunately something I’ve only recently discovered.
Carli recently posted..Wonder Women
I agree, many bloggers don’t want conflict, but I suppose a side effect of publishing on the internet, is that you don’t know who’s out there, and anyone can and might have a say. For example, I’ve seen religous blogs where they’ve posted anti-gay stuff, and comments are disabled.
Sure, they might want to only talk to like-minded people, but what they are writing is going to enrage others.
You might have a crafting community, where all they want to talk about it knitting. Not interested in fights. In that sort of a situation, I would understand that ‘troll’ means something entirely different. I would understand moderation being tighter.
I agree with what you’ve said about the ‘vanilla’ of the white and middle class. That’s something I’d like to see evened out, how, I don’t know.
I know what you mean about the Aussie blogger thread too. I don’t see anything wrong with GOMI members saying what annoys them about bloggers. When it turns into, ‘oh, I met them and their husband had an affair’, I lose a lot of respect for that person.
I was on a forum years ago where someone thought it’d be funny to claim they’d slept with my partner (wasn’t true), just to see if I’d throw a tanty. It was a scummy thing to do, but I was able to joke about it.
Now, if I were that blogger and it WERE true, well really, that’s just cruel. It’s humiliating for the blogger, and even if a reader wrote to me to ask if that were true and I hadn’t posted about it, I’d be really wanting them to butt out!
I have no idea if that statement was true or not, I just felt that it really dragged the whole tone down to gutter level. But in the end, I think it says more about the poster than the blogger when it gets taken too far, but it’d still hurt, for sure. I think (and hope) that that comment was deleted over there.
That’s a good point about the self-promotion that bloggers attempt over there! I didn’t see it happening in the Oz post, but maybe I’m just dumb? lol
I have seen where some bloggers have tried it on GOMI in other threads, even to the extent where one blogger was creating more than one account, and talking to herself! GOMI exposed it for the wankery it was, and I thought that was a good thing, although cringe-worthy to watch.
One thing I feel with GOMI, is that because it’s a blog-focused community, people seem to focus on the scum bags all the more. I mean, I’ve been in a parenting forum where one blogger was torn to shreds in a much worse way than I’ve ever seen on GOMI. The blogger came in to clarify some points, and even then, she wasn’t trusted!
And for real, pure hatred, you only need to hang out at youtube. They don’t hold back over there.
Sharon recently posted..Another Blogger, Writing About GOMI
Oh YouTube and Parenting forums! Frightening stuff!
Carli recently posted..Wonder Women
I know, right?
Sharon recently posted..Another Blogger, Writing About GOMI
I never knew GOMI existed until a few months back. I have a bit of a fascination/repulsion relationship with the site. I agree that bloggers can tend to exist in a bubble and forget that there are others reading who are not commenting. Blogging can feel very insular and it’s easy to forget that what we’re publishing is out there for anyone to see (and judge). GOMI has played a part in helping me view blogging from outside this bubble.
I think open discussion and constructive criticism are great. I’m not sure I agree that such discussions cannot happen on the blog itself. I’ve encountered very little censorship, that I’m aware of, on the blogs I read. Then again, if I don’t like a blog, I simply stop reading it, I don’t feel compelled to share my criticism. I don’t really understand that compulsion, honestly.
My blog was mentioned on the site several months ago (in a positive manner, thankfully). As a result, several new readers, directed from the site, contacted me personally after reading through my blog. A couple of them just wanted to share their support — one wanted to make a donation to a DV shelter in my honor. I was really touched. These were intelligent, articulate, compassionate women with amazing hearts and insights and they found my blog through GOMI. So that made it hard for me to generalize about the types of readers GOMI attracts.
I think bloggers tend to view GOMI as a bunch of haters and trolls, when really it’s just regular women who like to read blogs. (There are certainly some uber-bitches on the site, however.) And I think GOMIs tend to view bloggers as narcissistic money-grubbers, when really, we’re just regular women who like to write.
I think my biggest issue with GOMI is the anonymity. I respect transparency. I think when you have a big group of anonymous people getting together on the internet, it tends to bring out the worst in human behavior. It makes it easier to fall into negative groupthink because no one has to be accountable for what they say. It’s a situation that can appeal to those who are feeling powerless and covet a bit of anonymous power (in this case, the power to debase and accuse, without repercussion).
I’ve seen some interesting and at times hilarious discussion on GOMI. I’ve also seen members ruthlessly tear apart people I know and respect — I’m not talking about constructive criticism here, but rather vicious name calling. I’ve seen members throw out a comment, like a piece of meat before a pack of dogs, just to watch the ensuing feeding frenzy. It’s a bit sickening.
Free speech is great. Discussion and disagreement and constructive criticism are healthy and necessary in any community. However, vicious anonymous attacks on an individual are cowardly at best, destructive and wounding at worst.
Wanderlust recently posted..Short break
Wanderlust, I suppose it depends on which blogs you’re reading? I’m not saying all bloggers prevent freedom of speech, more that the ones who do, kind of ruin it for everyone else. Because I think that if a reader has witnessed it at a few blogs, then perhaps they might expect it elsewhere, so why bother? Do you know what I mean?
I know what you mean, sometimes I don’t feel compelled to comment on things I disagree with, but there have been some anti-ethics program blog posts written that have comments disabled, and yes, I have wanted to loudly disagree! lol. There are some places where something is so ludicrous (eg, an anti gay marriage message for example) that makes me want to say something.
I think there are stereotypes on both sides; of the GOMI-er and the bloggers. I think stereotypes are made to be broken though, haha!
On the anonymity issue at GOMI: I’m of two minds. That guy on youtube who told me I’d better be wearing a hijab next time he sees me, had a username other than ‘anonymous’. But I still had no idea who he was. It didn’t hurt me, and I can’t control what everyone thinks or says, not even the crazies!
But, everyone has their point where enough’s enough. I let the comment stay, responded a little, then didn’t answer much after a while. Then he started inboxing me in a way that felt disturbing to me. So that’s when I blocked him.
Some bloggers would’ve deleted at the first comment, and I would understand that, because he was what I’d define as a troll. My point is, it’s everywhere, it’s not just a GOMI thing. We don’t always know who our commentors are, you know?
BUT, when I hear that someone is on there, a blogger, tearing others to shreds, and the rumour is that it’s someone who’s been supported by the people they’re bitching about, sure, they have the right to remain anonymous, but as a blogger, I’m guessing they’d better hope no blogger figures out who they are, or it might not end well for them in terms of their own blog.
I don’t know what sort of ‘support’ this blogger has received, either, or who people think it is. All I know is, that if I’ve had a private conversation with a blogger and it was used against me over there and that person gets to hide, then I reserve the right to lose all respect for that person.
I think the ‘mob’ mentality can get sickening in any community. I respect anyone who can stand up in a pack of wolves and say, ‘you know what? That’s too far’.
I love hearing of your good experience when you were brought up at GOMI. That’s the part of it that I really love.
Sharon recently posted..Another Blogger, Writing About GOMI
My blog reading is pretty limited and it’s mostly other personal bloggers, so perhaps that’s why I don’t tend to encounter censorship. The only place I’ve seen it is Mamamia, but I think of that more as a media website rather than a blog.
While I think censorship exists to some degree, it’s used over on GOMI as a bit of a battle cry and raison d’etra, and I think that’s a stretch. If someone wants to make fun of a blogger’s recipes or fashion choices, great, but don’t pretend you’re some kind of freedom fighter battling the forces of internet oppression.
With that said, I think if a number of people are bringing up the same criticisms over and over, it can present an opportunity for a blogger to re-assess their choices. We all need a mirror from time to time, so we can see ourselves from another’s perspective.
Wanderlust recently posted..Short break
All good points, Kirsten. Maybe a way to counteract the censorship on blogs, be it perceived or real, is for more readers to just try to leave a comment? Find out if that blogger is ‘one of those’ or not? And as a reader myself, I should try harder too, instead of just dismissing my idea for a comment, thinking, ‘nah, that blogger probably couldn’t handle me saying that’.
Sharon recently posted..Another Blogger, Writing About GOMI
…and by ‘you’ I mean the general collective you, not you personally!
Some of the bigger sites, like Youtube, I find kind of frightening precisely because of the venomous comments. Same thing with news sites. But again, I think it’s the ability to be anonymous and speak without repercussions that brings out that venom. x
Wanderlust recently posted..Short break
Sorry for the disconnect — we were both typing responses at the same time!
Wanderlust recently posted..Short break
I got it, don’t worry:)
Yeah, I don’t think youtube is for the faint hearted at all. I’m starting to wonder if I’m a bit of a sadist? lol
Sharon recently posted..Another Blogger, Writing About GOMI
Wanderlust – GOMI lead me to you, and you are a SOMI for sure!!
SOMI all the way, that one:)
Sharon recently posted..Making it More Simple
Thanks Nadia! x
Wanderlust recently posted..Short break
These comments are as interesting and thought provoking as your post. I only discovered GOMI very recently and I think, overall, it’s a great thing.
I wonder about the future of the personal blogger, with so much introspective censorship, editing out anything that might be inflammatory, or even things that might require the blogger to stand up and actually defend their opinion if challenged on it. Criticism, no matter how constructive, is always a little bit of a kick in the guts, but I think it has to be a part of putting yourself out there in that way.
When you see comments being taken to the next level and personal information being used to humiliate and ridicule, it shows just how nasty and mean spirited mob mentality can be. It scares me the extremes some people will go to, for a moment of horrible glee, of virtual high fiving and back slapping from the rest of the mob as they inflict emotional pain, real pain, that can literally ruin the life of another person and their family. Those are the people that we need to stand against. They can be found anywhere that groups gather, online or off, and removing GOMI would not remove those problems, they just move on to a different location.
Kelli recently posted..Menu Board (helping me get organised!)
Loving the points in the comments too, Kelli.
This stuff really is everywhere. I mean, you and I used to hang at a pretty brutal place, so I’d say we’ve seen far worse, hence why this might seem so tame to us? But yes, family-ruining is never ok, and boy did we see some attempts at that in the old days?;)
Sharon recently posted..Another Blogger, Writing About GOMI
Yes, there are a few facebook groups I belong to that have a little ‘flare-up’ now and again and the admins get sooo upset about it all. And I often find myself thinking ‘that would have happened 10 times before lunch, daily, on THAT forum’ harden up! haha
Kelli recently posted..Menu Board (helping me get organised!)
That’s exactly it! PMSL. And we all survived. Sure, there were shitheads: big ones, and lots of them, but no one ever wanted it to close
Sharon recently posted..Another Blogger, Writing About GOMI
You made a lot of good points that I never thought of when writing my posts. I suppose part of my problem(?) was never spending enough time on there. I mostly only popped in and out on threads of bloggers I read so I’ve probably missed a lot of the positivity.
Although even in what I’ve seen there have been people who have stood up to some of the more over the top hatefulness. The community is definitely not all bad like some people make it out to be.
Abigail recently posted..Get Off My Internets. Or not.
Yes, I have had a good long read! I find it pretty addictive, and always find myself wanting to read more. The uncensored element just means more original ideas are shared, and that really appeals to me.
Of course, when I first heard about it and went for a look, at first it looked pretty bad at face value.
Sharon recently posted..Another Blogger, Writing About GOMI
“To any blogger who has deleted or cried ‘troll!’ to a reader who has expressed a differing opinion: you did this. And fuck you. And the horse you rode in on.” — That was brilliant! I totally agree.
I love that you used GIFs in this post. I just wrote about GOMI and could not resist putting in a GIF either. My take is that GOMI can be offensive, but censoring GOMI is more offensive. It would be one thing for the site to fade away because no one posted. But for it to be closed because of the back door dealings of an ad agency and several high profile bloggers? That’s awful.
Nan | wrathofmom.blogspot.ca recently posted..Let’s use our imaginations…
I’m gonna check out your post now:)
I agree with all the points you’ve made too.
Sharon recently posted..Another Blogger, Writing About GOMI
You should totally join in the discussions! You would be surprised how many GOMI-ers have their own blogs – I would guess at least 1/3 of them do. Very few ever link to theirs, but we still know who has them, and once you get close to others, you’ll find people are very willing to share their blogs privately with you. I have met some of my favorite bloggers through GOMI because I know they are going to have a no bullshit way of blogging.
So what I’m saying is…you get GOMI, you seem to be able to hold a conversation, and you have opinions – so sign up and join in
Franziska recently posted..the posh’mina showoff + GIVEAWAY!
Are you saying what I think you’re saying?
You’ve put my mind at ease, and it’s becoming more tempting:)
Sharon recently posted..Another Blogger, Writing About GOMI
Join us.
Oh for Pete’s! My gif didn’t work. It was a kitten eating a bunny but cute :/
Oh, I’m sorry the gif didn’t work! I wasn’t sure mine would either. I’m psyching myself up, but I have a feeling that’s where the like minded people are that I’m not finding in blogworld
Sharon recently posted..Another Blogger, Writing About GOMI
“GOMI is the place where readers go when they feel not good enough, thanks to bloggers who portray an impossibly perfect life.”
Yes X1,000,000.
I discovered blogs and then I tried to become a blogger myself. I compared myself with bloggers and was hard on myself when my life didn’t look like the one they had (because, spoiler alert, they aren’t telling the whole story and because, duh, we are different people). I was terrified of GOMI at first but once I started reading I realized that I AM GOOD ENOUGH. I realized that I was restricting my diet in awful ways, that I was over exercising my body, and that I was holding myself up to an impossible standard. The hamcats saved me.
I can relate to that:) I used to have a mum blog. I was clear that I planned to do it professionally, but what many wouldn’t know was that I also wanted to stimulate my two younger kids who were quite small.
So,for me, I used the blog to hold myself accountable to give my kids more activities, with the view of providing a resource where other parents could flip through for ideas (as well as making money off it!)
Now, I realised after being in some parenting forums, that blogs of that nature (mine was never personally called out) were making a lot of other mums feel like crap. That they weren’t giving their kids playdough or painting everyday. Well, neither was I, lol!
But I felt it very sad that a blog can give off that impression, even inadvertantly of, ‘you’re not doing all the things you should be’, which can easily translate to any niche.
I wouldn’t say that was the reason I stopped with that blog, but it feels nice to have a more personal blog which I hope isn’t giving off that vibe.
And on the diet stuff; I didn’t know a THING about healthy eating, HLB before GOMI. I had NO IDEA about the eating disorders, unsafe practices, and the potential to have a not so positive influence on readers.
I know it’s not GOMI’s purpose to educate the public about anything really, but you know what? Whether they mean to or not, they do. Just by having the freedom to talk. And sometimes when we talk, we talk with feeling. Sometimes outrage. That’s just life.
I have compared myself to other bloggers in the past too, and I’m at a point where I realise what’s the point? I have a different life. I like different things. I’m also learning that not worrying about all that stuff makes for a better blog if you can just be you.
Sharon recently posted..Another Blogger, Writing About GOMI
Join! gOMI would welcome you with open arms. Refreshing and honest feedback. JOIN!
Thanks so much, Nadia:)
Sharon recently posted..Making it More Simple
Great post – I regularly lurk on GOMI, and it’s definitely a SOMI for me. It’s funny, I’d be willing to wager that most of the people who hate GOMI have never looked past their own “blog niche” in the forums. There is a lot of great, intelligent discussion that happens on GOMI, if only you look! Thanks for sharing this.
Janine @ The Purple Giraffe recently posted..#DrinkUpLinkUp – Harpoon IPA
Yes, I really think if you find GOMI via another blogger, it’s very confronting and doesn’t look good. I had a really good look around the first time I found it, because I wanted to understand the context of the whole site and community. So many interesting discussions being had.
And just to update a little, I did end up joining GOMI!
I think if anyone wants to act as though they’re ‘above’ having a hate read, well, all that means is that GOMI is probably their hate read
Sharon recently posted..Making it More Simple
Good post! Someone told me about it and when I read what was written I almost died! Nasty stuff is never nice to read about yourself.
But then I thought, fuck it, and went out for a beer.
It does not bother me. I swing by from time to time. People have the right to say whatever they want. When it crosses the line and becomes personal, commenting on things like husbands appearances and stuff, I cannot see any value in that.
You are a hot fire cracker! Xx
I think it’s always confronting, definitely. Yes it’s true though, when the comments are about appearances or other family members, that’s where I think my line is.
Sharon recently posted..Nature Gives Me a Happy
ok, first of all, even if Katie did have an eating disorder…that’s none of your fucking business. and forcibly trying to ”out someone” for having an eating disorder just makes you look like a prick. and really, why the fuck does it matter that she makes low calorie recipe? there are PLENTY of people in the blogosphre universe that make low cal recipe blogs, i don’t see you attacking them or their fanbase. i mean if you REALLY want to see some dangerously low cal recipes, i’d suggest you visit some of the pro ana blogs. and iv seen some of her followers, and none of them strike me as the ”anorexic types”. im not saying that it’s impossible that any of her readers suffer from some kind of eating disorder, then again, other healthy eating bloggers might have fans that suffer from eating disorders as well. i mean hell, if that’s the case, why not accuse every single healthy eating blogger of promoting anorexia just because they might have a regular reader who has an eating disorder.
Hallie Y. Hendrix recently posted..No last blog posts to return.
Ok, first off, I just found this in spam, sorry it didn’t go through sooner.
As for the rest of what you wrote, I have no idea who you’re talking to or about.
Sharon recently posted..Inside a Carer’s Mind on a Bad Day
Do I think this behavior is appropriate? That bloggers need to suck it up and deal with it?? Yes and no, depending on the extent of the “behavior” itself.
Eloy D. Christensen recently posted..No last blog posts to return.
Agree. But then, even the bits we don’t agree with are usually out of our control anyway, anywhere on the net.
Sharon recently posted..Inside a Carer’s Mind on a Bad Day
And also, I’m sorry your comment didn’t go through at first, some have been going through to spam:)
Sharon recently posted..Inside a Carer’s Mind on a Bad Day
i have also changed my initial view of GOMI after reading a bit through it. Can’t agree more with this post. Bloggers need to get down their high horse. I see many of the developments on the internet as cyclic, all platforms of public expression go through the same phases, it’s just how people ARE. A site like GOMI can actually help making selective choices for readers and, as you say, improvements for writers.
nikki recently posted..Aspergerer – The search for the causes of Autism
That’s pretty much what I think too Nikki:)
Sharon recently posted..Inside a Carer’s Mind on a Bad Day
Ha only just read this. I fucking love GIFs!
Veggie Mama recently posted..Crochet weekend project: baby pinafore {alternatively titled “How Not to Read a Pattern”}
Well then, this gif won’t disturb you at all:P
Sharon recently posted..Inside a Carer’s Mind on a Bad Day
oh man! HAHAHAHAHA!
veggie mama recently posted..Meatless Monday: Cheesy veggie slice
Gotta love Blades of Glory:P
Sharon recently posted..This Might Just Work
I guess I am still too damn close to it all. The numerous times I have been mentioned I think only once it was a ‘I don’t like her’ or ‘I don’t understand that blog’ and that is cool.
Not everyone is going to like me. Read my comments, at least once a month someone says they hate me. Ten times that email to assure me of my suckage.
The problem I have with gomi is that most of the people in that thread are there tear others down in the most hurtful way they can, and they are probably people that we know.
At least my haters, and yes even my trolls that threaten to shoot my husband or kill me in my sleep, have the decency to give me the right of reply.
Kelley @ magnetoboldtoo recently posted..For you. And if you don’t need it now, save it for later. Just like the internetz, the sentiment is always there.
I think you’ve handled it extremely well, though, Kelley:)
I think your blog is great, but I think it takes time to ‘get’ you, if you know what I mean? Which I think just means you’re being you, rather than writing as some sort of personality-defunct guru/automaton.
I also didn’t ‘get’ Mrs Woog’s blog when it was brand new. Now I love it! I think with some blogs, that can be hard, because some people want everything spelled out to them instantly and as people, we’re not always like that.
It irritates me a LOT that you’re being accused of being the user, ‘Que’ over there, it’s blatantly obvious that’s not you!
I agree that it’s unsettling to feel as though some of the members over there are highly likely aussie bloggers backstabbing, and that really doesn’t sit well with me.
An honest question for you: have you ever considered replying over at the forums? I’m not saying you should, but I’m curious as to why certain bloggers DO go in to reply, and why others, like yourself, don’t? I don’t think one way is right, either.
Like you, I think it’s fine to say, ‘I don’t like that blog’, or ‘I don’t like that person’. I think that’s to be expected. I think with what I’ve seen written about you over there, is that a lot of the posters who have strong opinions about you and your blog have admitted that they’ve only had a quick look and not really read it.
I mean, no one can dictate, ‘you MUST read the entire blog before having an opinion on GOMI!’ or anything like that, but it’s kind of like when any of my kids have been given nachos for the first time!
‘I don’t like that!’
‘Have you tried it?’
‘No!’
‘Try some!’
‘This is the best food ever!’
But that said, a lot of bloggers only read the forum thread at GOMI that relates to their community, and don’t check out the full context of the site before forming an opinion, and that drives me nuts too. Not saying you are in that position, but I have seen that reaction in many.
Sharon recently posted..How do I Meditate?
Why don’t I go in there? Well to be perfectly honest I am a big fat scaredy cat.
How can I defend myself against being a crazy fat whore? And all the other shit said about me. Sure, I put my life on the internet and anyone can read it. And I am the first to say that the internet is forever and what you say can come back and bite you. That is why I haven’t written about the very very worst things in my life. The very thing that they hate on with other bloggers.
Yet I still get hauled over the coals and accused of either being some person that went in there to try to ‘defend’ me, or worse trying to be anonymous and they want to ‘out’ me.
What can I possibly say that would help? Nothing.
Probably just make it worse and get me some more hate readers.
Ain’t nobody got time for that.
Fair enough:). Look, I have joined over there, and I feel torn between defending the Aussie mum bloggers and not. Not so much because I’m worried about the gomie-ers, more that if I agree with bits here and there generally, is it worth the angt for those bloggers?
Thank you for this. When I first found GOMI (because my blog had been mentioned) I felt like crying. But then I started reading and I found it, like you, to be very enlightening and educational for me as a blogger. If my blog is sucking, I do want to know. I try to focus my energy positively so I guess I found the whole concept of a forum devoted to getting people off the internet initially to be quite upsetting.
The more GOMI I read though, the more I realise there was a lot of truth in what many of the members are saying (though a lot of unkindness can be distracting to the legitimate complaints). I guess I struggle to be a natural skeptic and take things on face value and don’t read into things very much so I appreciate that there are a community of people not just buying whatever they read and keeping us bloggers accountable and saving the good people of internet from us all just writing shit.
I agree, Georgia, and really, I’d rather know how readers feel. I think us bloggers forget how blogs come across to the reader.
Sharon recently posted..Guess I’m Low Calibre. Oh Shoot.
Oh Sharon you’ll get a kick out of this… I’ve only just found this post after it was linked in the Aus bloggers thread on GOMI
I’m glad I did. I’ve written about about my thoughts here and there and they are quite similar to yours generally. I’ve read GOMI for a few years now, although I only waded into the forums a year or so ago and never commented until my name came up over there.
I’ll keep reading it. Of course there are things I don’t love, and now and again I get really pissed off at the assumptions a specific commenter has made. But generally I enjoy it for a laugh.
The thing that does my head in when bloggers start crying about it is that we spend so much time saying ‘if you don’t like it, don’t read it’ about our own blogs if, God forbid, we are criticized. I just thing hello, same deal?! Don’t read GOMI so you can bitch about the concept of hate reading. Because duh.
katesaysstuff recently posted..Goodbye Girl
Hi Kate! Yeah, I’ve seen your thoughts on GOMI before, and was glad to see I wasn’t the only one!
And yep, no one has to read anything, it totally goes both ways.
Sharon recently posted..Guess I’m Low Calibre. Oh Shoot.